For the love of Fruit's Basket!
by Vetor Swest
Summary: Random Fruits Basket characters fall in love and do other random things in a completly, yet not so completely, stupid story! I mock the author! This was for my friends! Haha!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:**Good news--I've just returned from a three month break! Bad news is that squirrels are evil...

Okasies that was random, but it kinda fits in with the whole random theme. Okay, heads up on this chapter, some of the characters (2 or 3) are people I know and there's mebbe 1 or 2 inside jokes, but don't worry, because I LOVE YOU! But not like that of course. Haha.

Ack, I'm rambling again, well...read, review, and enjoy! (Or else, haha)

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Fruits Basket, or any of the other well...everything in this story, which are Hamtaro, Sailor Moon, Darth Vadar, Spongebob, The Orkin man, Kingdom Hearts (since I mentioned that I might as well say it) or Natsuki Takaya's 'haha's or author's notes, Kyo, Tohru, Shigure, Yuki, Mr. Roger's music, Hey Diddle Diddle, aaaaaaaand...I think that's it but if there's any more, don't flame me--cringes

Egad, I'm in a weird mood today. Haha.

* * *

It was a very merry day in the neighborhood, a beautiful day for a neighbor, when Kyo Shigure, Tohru, Yuki, and an anime-ish spongebob were caroling outside on the roof (because everyone sings on the roof) singing random Mr. Rogers Music, when all of a sudden a giant tomato came out and ate the roof, so they were forced to sit on the ground. 

"That sure was mean of that tomato!" Shigure shouted.

"He should of stayed and sang with us," Tohru added.

Kyo, ignoring the whole situation shouted, "I LOVE TRISTA MORE THAN SARAH R.!"

"Egad, how could you say that?" Screamed Tohru, "Sarah R. probably loves you more than she loves David!"

Suddenly, Sarah R. popped out of the hedges and screamed "DON'T SAY THAT SO LOUDLY!" and ran away blushing.

After an awkward silence the five began singing 'Hey diddle diddle' Mr. Rogers style.

"I wish I was a dish."

"Why'd you say that, Shigure?" Tohru asked.

"Then I could run away with the spoon."

"But the dish was probably a woman, you wouldn't want people making odd fanfictions about you, not to mention that the fiddle-playing cat was much better," Kyo pointed out.

"But he didn't get the girl, and the dog was _so _much better than the cat..."

"Allright, I'll admit it, I love spongebob," Tohru confessed out of the blue.

"Gasp!" Kyo gasped.

"Gasp!" Shigure gasped.

"Gasp!" Yuki gasped.

"Gasp!" the giant roof-eating tomato gasped.

"Gasp!" Spongebob gasped.

"Gasp!" Darth Vadar gasped as he chopped the giant roof-eating tomato in half and red stuff splattered everywhere.

"Don't worry, darling, it's not blood, it's only ketchup." Spongebob said to Tohru.

"Oh spongebob, I love you so much!" Tohru said.

"And I love the spoon!" Shigure said.

"AND I LOVE TRISTA MORE THAN SARAH R.!11ONEOONE1!11SEVENTEN!" shouted Kyo.

"Who do you love, Yuki?" Asked spongebob.

"I...I love...HAMTARO!"

(A/N: Isn't this so dramatic? Ah, true love! Swoons--haha.)

(AA/N: Don't I sound like Natsuki Takaya with all these 'haha' author's notes? Haha.)

"Wow Yuki, I never knew you were...like..._that_," gasped Tohru.

"I guess you both are rodents..." Shigure said.

"And I'm the Orkin man!" said the Orkin man as he sprayed rat killer on Yuki.

"NUUUUUUUUUUU! I'm DYING! Save me Hamtaro!"

Hamtaro suddenly came running out of the bushes and killed the Orkin man with his uber-cool kung-foo moves.

"Now I'm afraid that _that's_ not ketchup," Spongebob whispered in Tohru's ear.

"YUMMY!" Hamtaro shouted and began eating the Orkin man.

"Hamtaro, how could you leave meee! I"m still dyinggggggg!" Yuki screamed.

"I'll save you!" a bunch of random fangirls screamed and leaped out of the bush and started hitting Yuki with tree branches."All this violence is making me angry!" Kyo said.

"Then let's have a pokemon battle!" Shigure suggested.

"No, I'm not afraid of cute little monsters."

"What are you afraid of?"

"Darth Vadar," Yuki shuddered as he pointed to Darth Vadar who was still sitting in the ruins of the tomato.

"Egad!"

"We all know that there's only one way to kill Darth Vadar," said Spongebob..

"What?"

"You have to kill EVERYBODY!"

"But I'm in love with Trista!" shouted Kyo. "I can't kill her!"

"But I'm in love with the spoon!" shouted Shigure, "I can't kill him!"

"So it's a _him?_" Tohru gasped.

"Uh...no..."

dramatic pause-

"OK, YES! AND I LOVE HIM!"

"...Wow..." Yuki croaked.

"You aren't one to talk, you love Hamtaro...hey, I thought you were dead!" said Shigure.

"But...Hamtaro's a girl, right?" asked Yuki.

Everyone's eyes widened and they returned to Hamtaro who was slowly sneaking back to the bushes.

(A/N: I just beat Kingdom Hearts CoM reverse and rebirth yesterday! It was so dramatic, poor Riku, he had to beat harder bosses than Sora (haha) It had such a good ending though! (I had to add something video-gamey as an authors note to sound like the author.) ( haha) Hope you like the story so far! Haha.)

"Well Hamtaro?" Tohru asked, eybrow raised.

Hamtaro blushed. "Well...you know how hard it is to tell with small rodents, if you get what I saying."

"You can say that again," Yuki said.

Kyo and Shigure started twitching, and Spongebob covered Tohru's eyes (A/N: Like _that's_ gonna do anything, haha)

"You know what this means!" Kyo said.

"What?" asked Shigure. "You love Trista more than Sarah R.?"

"No, I changed my mind, I like Sarah R. better–"

"Siiiiii!" Sarah R. called from the bushes.

"–and we hafta kill EVERYONE!" Kyo finished. "Ya know, like Spongebob said."

"Egad!" Said Tohru.

"Egad!" Said Yuki.

"Egad!" Said Spongebob.

"I LOVE YOU TOOO KYOOO!" Shouted Sarah R.

Trista suddenly appeared behind Sarah R.'s back holding a big scary weapon that can create Ms. Moores out of nothing and began chasing Sarah R. who was running away very quickly indeed.

"How are we going to kill everyone?" Asked Spongebob.

"I dunno, you came up with the idea, and it's just me and Shigure killing everyone"

"Shigure and _I_ killing everyone," lectured a random Language Arts teacher.

"Good thing I'm a spork" Said the spoon.

"NUUUUU! Don't lie to me like that, you're a spoon!" shouted Shigure. "Hm...I should write a story about this..."

"OMG IT'S A TACO!" shouted Tohru.

"Egad!" said Spongebob.

"No, it's a spoon!" said Kyo.

"I love Hamtaro who is genderly-confused" said Yuki.

awkward silence-

"Oh look, Kyo, I have a gun!" shouted Shigure.

"That's great! Now we can kill everyone!" Darth Vadar said.

"No, it's just Shigure and I that are killing people. We're the only ones with weapons!"

"But I have a lightsaber and you don't have a weapon!"

"The last lightsaber died long ago in a galaxy far, far away. So did you. You're dead. Like Yuki. And that tomato. And the Orkin man. I just bought a gun from Sailor Moon anyways."

"Egad!" said Darth Vadar and he died.

"Egad! said Sailor Moon.

(A/N: Sailor Moon, gotta love her D )

"I'm angry" said Kyo. "Are you angry, Shigure?"

"I am angry." said Shigure.

"THEN LET'S KILL EVERYONEEEEE!"

"Egad!" Said everyone in the world.

Then Kyo and Shigure killed everyone. Even the rocks. Even the Hamtaros. Even Sailor moon!

"Well, I guess that's everyone!" said Kyo. "Everyone except..." he stared at Shigure.

Shigure stared back.

"I can't kill you!" screamed Kyo.

"Why?"

"Because I'm already dead."

"Oh."

Then they both died. The End. (A/N: Until the next chapter, bwahahaha)

* * *

**A/N:** Sorry to about making such a stupid fanfiction, but it didn't take me too long! (Don't worry, I'm still working on my Peter Pan story, haha) I'd like to thank my friend Sonic-lover3 and her new completely random story! (Haha) Oh, and for the die-hard Fruits Basket fans, I'm sorry I'm making fun of your favorite characters and /or author, I truly am nods Sooo...:takes out gun: REVIEW! 


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: **Suu..my friends convinced me into making a new chapter, which I personally don't like as much as the first, but I shouldn't say that considering that then you won't read it, but if you liked the first one you might read it, kinda like a sequel to a good movie, you automatically know that the '2' at the end of the title is showing that it won't be as bad as the first, but you want to see it anyways, and ever so occasionally it really is better, but more often than not it isn't. But this chapter might be different, depending on what you enjoy reading and what you don't, just like movies, so in retrospect, I say that this chapter is neither better or worse than the last one, nor equal to, but just another chapter.

If you read all of that, then brownie points to you!

Yes...this is my new chapter, with a few references to the first, but I discovered that Kyo seemed a little ooc, so I made him hate some people! –Big grin–.

Hope ya enjoy!

**Disclaimer:** I wish I owned Fruits Basket, Hamtaro, Kirby, Yugioh, and Darth Vadar, for I'd be making lotsa monies, but alas, I do not.

Once upon a time there was a very happy place. This place was called '_Earth_'. Everyone on _Earth_ was all happy. Except for the emos. But they're different. (A/N: No offense to the emos, haha). Then, one day, everybody on _Earth_ died, because Kyo and Shigure were angry. Why were they angry you ask? I don't know (A/N: And that's why you read the first chapter, haha). Then one day a magical pink unicorn came along and everyone came alive again. The end. (A/N: Wasn't that a nice story? Haha)

"Oh, I love you so much magical pink unicorn!" Tohru cried as she hugged the animal that granted them all their lives.

"I'm only happy that my true loves are alive!" Mumbled Kyo, "Everyone else can die."

"Egad!" Said Tohru.

"My true love is Hamtaro, because Kirby loves Hamtaro, but who's your true love again Kyo?" asked Yuki as he hugged hamtaro.

"TRISTA AND SARAH R WHOM I BOTH LOVE EQUALLY MORE OR LESS!!!!1111" Screamed Kyo. "But I hate eveyone else, specially Kirby."

"WHY DO YOU HATE MEEEE??!!!" Yuki cried.

"Eh, kid, you're not Kirby!" Hamtaro shouted and ran away from Yuki.

"Come back here Hamtaro, or I will be forced to act like the little pink vacuum I am and swallow you!"

"Uh, Yuki, You're not little. Or pink." Tohru started.

"Shut up you moron!" Shouted Yuki and slapped Tohru across her face and ran away to chase Hamtaro.

(A/N: She deserved that...ok, mebbe not...haha!)

"Kirby, I hate him so much, I wish to fight him more than I wish to fight Yuki!" Kyo screamed.

"Why?" Tohru asked, taking her attention away from Kirby-Yuki.

"Because his video games are the only ones I have never been able to beat! I haven't even gotten past level one, and it's ALL HIS FAULT!"

"Egad!" Tohru blinked.

"So now I must fight him! Or else!"

Tohru turned back to Yuki who was trying to fight Hamtaro by swallowing him, but sadly he was failing. She couldn't let Kyo fight him like this!

(A/N: The drama! Haha)

"Well Kyo," Tohru stated, "You can't fight Yuki unless you get through me!"

"Fight you? I couldn't, you're a girl!"

"HEY!" Sarah R shouted from the bushes.

"I'm not going to fight you, I'm going to duel you!"

"Duel?"

"YES!!!!!! I challenge you–to a duel!!!"

"Like, Yu-gi-oh duel?" Yuki asked meekly from behind Tohru.

"Yup."

"Oh, ok, just wondering. Lyk omg!!! BTW I iz kirby!!11!!"

"I HATE YOU!" Kyo shouted and attempted to chase Yuki, but Tohru blocked him.

"You hafta duel me first!"

"NUUUU!!!"

"Egad" said Kirby-Yuki.

Suddenly, a huge stadium-thingamanummer popped out of the ground!

"I summon Ebil Dragon Destroyer of Stadium-Thingamanummers!" Kyo shouted, and suddenly a giant moster with a gazibillion eyes and huge pointy teeth appeared.

"Egad!" said Kirby-Yuki.

"Egad!" said Hamtaro.

"Egad!" said Tohru.

"Haha, you can not beat me! Haha!"

"Or can I? I summon Shigure who for some strange reason hasn't appeared in this chapter yet!"

"Gasp!"

For the next hour the two exchanged blows and phrases which are not appropriate for this fanfiction, when, all of a sudden, the creator of Yugioh himself appeared and sued Tohru.

"Egad!" Said Tohru.

"My...c..cards...have failed," gasped Kyo, panting on the ground, and covered with scorch marks, "So...for some...st..strange...reason I...I am hurt!"

"And for some strange reason, I am broke!" gasped Tohru.

"I wish Darth Vadar were here." Said Shigure.

"Shigure, that's a great idea!" Tohru grinned, "I summon Darth Vadar!"

(A/N: I would love to talk about the latest video game I played here, haha, but sadly, I just played solitare recently. My high score is 8,414, betcha can't beat that, haha! Oh, and I hope you're enjoying the story so far. Haha!)

"Well...I...I summon...The giant man-eating tomato!"

"Egad!" Said Shigure.

"Egad!" Said Sarah R.

"Egad!" Said Darth Vadar.

"Oh my!" Said Kirby-Yuki.

But since Yu-gi-oh battles are boring to narrate, Darth Vader spared us all the trouble and ran off with the giant man-eating tomato into the sunset, and lived happily ever after!

"That is so sweet!" Tohru said happily.

"I hate Kirby!" Shouted Kyo.

"Egad!" Said Kirby-Yuki.

"Don't worry Yuki!" screamed Hamtaro. "I'll make you feel better!" Hamtaro ran over to Yuki and gave him a big hug.

"Oh Hamtaro! I love you! Oh, and just so you know, I'm not Yuki, I'm Kir–" Yuki exclaimed happily but looked up to find that he had changed into a rat.

"Egad!" Said Tohru.

"Egad!" Said Kyo.

"Egad!" Said Hamtaro.

"Wait a sec, that must mean that Hamtaro is really..."

"A girl!" Shouted Tohru.

"Yes I am." Said Sarah R.

"I'm not a girl!" Screamed Hamtaro.

"Then if it's not you..." Shigure muttered, "Then it must be...egad!"

"Yuki's really a girl? But how can this be?" Kyo shouted.

"My name's not Yuki, it's Kirby!" Yuki shouted. Everyone stared.

"Yuki, do you have something to tell us?" Shigure asked.

Yuki blushed a deep red. "Well..."

"ALLRIGHT! I'LL ADMIT, IT'S ME!" Screamed Hamtaro.

(A/n: Poor Hamtaro! Haha.)

"Oh...O.K.!"

"Let's have a party!" suggested Tohru.

"Great idea!" Said Hamtaro.

"But we have a problem, Tohru." Kyo said and raised an eybrow. "We're all dead."

"No we're not!" Hamtaro said.

Kyo smiled at Shigure.

"Uh oh." said Tohuru.

Then Kyo and Shigure killed everyone. Again.

The end.

A/N: Or did they? Will everyone live again in the next chapter? Will there be another chapter? Haha! Oh, and please review! I wish I had a pretty pink unicorn! Haha! Egad! Haha!

A/NNx1054: I wrote this chapter right after the previous one, it just took me forever to post it. Over a year, in fact HAHA

So, to my watchers, sorry for dying out, and to my readers, sorry for my horrid writing style that I believe I improved on a bit, yay!


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